Thursday July 17, 2014
Duration: 15 minutes
Location: Backyard on the patio chair
It’s 8:58 a.m., I’m getting started a little later this morning than I normally do. Inside the house on the floor sitting on a pillow against the wall doesn’t feel like a good spot to do meditation, I opt to go outside in the backyard and sit on an outside chair. “The breeze feels nice this morning,” I say.
I start breathing deeply and into my meditation to go. Unlike yesterday, there’s a lot going on this morning. Everyday truly is different. “I did this exercise yesterday with Marquis where I put my leg on the medicine ball and pushed it back and forth with my leg,” she says. I chuckle to myself and she hears a tinge of negativity in my voice. She asks, “Why did you just snicker when I told you that?” I say, “I wasn’t snickering at you, I was happy for you.” She says, “Oh,” smiles, and then goes back to her nails. At that moment I didn’t realize it, but my ego got involved with that comment. Instead of being happy for her I was on my high horse as a been-there-done-that, I can do that easily without the ball kind of attitude. I was happy for her progress and I love seeing her excited about it to the point where she can see and feel it. The ego was subtle, but wove its way into our interaction. It made the interaction multi-layered. I’m glad I had the time to meditate, which brought to light what had initially escaped me.
Still breathing my thought fades from the comments in the bathroom to my old job at Sellands. “This is surprising,” I say, “It feels like forever ago that I quit this job.” In actuality it wasn’t, its only been a month in a half. I dig deeper and start to think about my old boss. He was such a dick at times. Surprisingly I don’t think about him or the place in a negative fashion. I approach the subject with an understanding eye. I see my bitterness while I work. I see myself walking on the work side by the counter of pastries near the register. The bitterness and disdain I had for the place is gone. As I look on the subject I feel like I’m in the present moment watching a film clip of who I was in the past. A past that wasn’t too long ago either.
Right now I have time to reflect as my work schedule hasn’t filled up with clients as of yet. The saying goes that “time heals.” Well, I would say in this case it has. The thoughts of Sellands were surprising, I didn’t expect them.